Every one wants to create and nurture a happy family. "Being happy as a family is something deeper than simply having fun together or feeling the immediate euphoria of a joyful event like opening presents on Christmas morning”, explains Scott Haltzman, M.D, author of the new book The Secrets of Happy Families. A happy family is a family that has a deep sense of meaning and purpose in their lives. When you have that, he adds, the lows feel more manageable, because you can put them into perspective — and the highs are more memorable.

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Sunday, November 28, 2010

' Getting An Ex Back' Vs 'healing A Broken Heart'



Love is on everybody's mind. I sometimes get the impression that everything evolves around it. Whenever you turn on the TV you will see a show about love. There will always be another Dr.Phil giving a good relationship advice or another desperate house wife cheating on her husband before the big breakup. Same goes for published media.
Many book covers are sporting pictures of roses, sunrises and sunsets promising the reader a roller coaster of romantic emotions or even advice on how to get over an ex. Entertainment publications, talk about about celebrities. Almost all of those people became famous after taking part in a romantic film.
It's so evident that it's not even worth mentioning. We are clearly preoccupied by romance. Some people might see it as something negative. I personally think it's great. The topic should be discussed more in industrialized countries like The Russian federation and Netherlands. These countries see a diminishing population.
Large number of people in those countries are brainwashed into believing that money is the most important thing. Media praises money and riches and pays less attention to love. It's not to say that there are no 'love' shows in those countries. But I think media should concentrate less on the drama and more on the positive.


Breakups and unfaithful lovers are put on the spot light, while a simple happy family is considered boring and stays in the background. Same goes for books that give you the latest advice on how to dump someone or how to get over being dumped. Why is it so hard to find a book that will explain how to fix a relationship and help you get your lover back? Books that make you fight for your love and not give up should be more prevalent. When was the last time you saw a best seller like that?
In some states there are a divorce rates of 40%. When will it end? Those are mind blowing statistics! It's as if people decide to jump the ship and shop elsewhere too quickly. I think that almost all problems have a solution. Even if one of the union members is cheating, doesn't mean the couple has to breakup.
What caused this infidelity? May be it was caused by a grave mistake on the part of the husband? Could this be a one time thing, that can be prevented if the couple establishes a better spiritual connection? In many instances it is a small difference that makes a big change. It's been said that the top reason why wives go to look elsewhere is the lack of recognition.
Therefore it becomes clear that we should value our partner. Let's concentrate on similarities and not the differences. Let's be understanding and patient towards one another. We can choose the feelings of fondness instead of anger. Because in the end of the day love always prevails.
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Here are the keys to building a family life that will make your guy, your kids, and you truly happy.

1. Know who they are

When your family agrees on its core values — and consistently lives by those standards — you'll build a stronger family identity and reduce conflict. Certain values fall into place naturally; if you're married, you and your husband probably committed to each other in the first place because of values that both of you share.

However, Haltzman insists on not simply letting your values evolve on their own, but rather deliberately shaping and naming your core principles. "Defining your values together cannot only reinforce a lot of the qualities that brought you together, but it can also help steer you in times when you feel conflicted," he says.

2. Lean on others

No family thrives in a bubble — your extended relatives, friends, neighbors, and other networks are crucial to your happiness. "Other families expose kids to new ideas and lifestyles and give them a broader view of their roles in their own family as well as in their community," Haltzman says.

If you don't have a built-in network, Haltzman suggests creating your own support system through volunteering, joining the PTA or a book club, participating in religious services, or simply reaching out to your neighbors.

3. Bounce back

Truly happy families have the resiliency to face life's challenges and stay strong. "Going through difficult times can actually make you feel more connected as a family," Haltzman says.

4. Breathe

Families do better when they have plenty of laid-back time together. Whether you're going for a walk, playing Rock Band, making cookies, or just hanging out, the best way to build happy family connections is simply to enjoy one another spontaneously. "You can spend your life defining your goals, setting your values, and putting all the right things into place," Haltzman says, "but you also have to take a step back and live a little."

John SBroto & Friend

John SBroto & Friend
Boating under Niagara Falls - shot of water, roaring rapids voice, wave exposure … thrilling ... as well as fun! Life ... the challenge ... while enjoying it!