Happy Family 777: February 2011

Every one wants to create and nurture a happy family. "Being happy as a family is something deeper than simply having fun together or feeling the immediate euphoria of a joyful event like opening presents on Christmas morning”, explains Scott Haltzman, M.D, author of the new book The Secrets of Happy Families. A happy family is a family that has a deep sense of meaning and purpose in their lives. When you have that, he adds, the lows feel more manageable, because you can put them into perspective — and the highs are more memorable.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

5 Great Gift Ideas for Women

Every year for the holidays, I always have trouble finding a gift for my mother, aunties, girlfriend, and sister. It's amusing because I need seem to have the same problem when it comes to my father, or brother. The problem is women, they are basically impossible to shop for.

Looking for a gift is much like looking for the needle in the haystack. Except for in this case, you don't even know what the needle looks like! If you're anything like me, then you'll want a solution to this problem quick. The holidays are approaching soon, and you are still without a gift. Fortunately for you, I have a quick solution for you.

One trick I have learned is to listen to my heart. Gifts are displays of compassion. If your heart isn't in it, your gift surely won't be. The first step is to identify the person you are getting a gift for. I like to then identify the type of person she is.

Is she outgoing? Does she love gardening? What are her interests, what are her hobbies? If you don't know these answers, then you'll have to do a bit of research. Finding a gift for someone is much easier when you know what they want. Here are a few categories you can work from.

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Here are the keys to building a family life that will make your guy, your kids, and you truly happy.

1. Know who they are

When your family agrees on its core values — and consistently lives by those standards — you'll build a stronger family identity and reduce conflict. Certain values fall into place naturally; if you're married, you and your husband probably committed to each other in the first place because of values that both of you share.

However, Haltzman insists on not simply letting your values evolve on their own, but rather deliberately shaping and naming your core principles. "Defining your values together cannot only reinforce a lot of the qualities that brought you together, but it can also help steer you in times when you feel conflicted," he says.

2. Lean on others

No family thrives in a bubble — your extended relatives, friends, neighbors, and other networks are crucial to your happiness. "Other families expose kids to new ideas and lifestyles and give them a broader view of their roles in their own family as well as in their community," Haltzman says.

If you don't have a built-in network, Haltzman suggests creating your own support system through volunteering, joining the PTA or a book club, participating in religious services, or simply reaching out to your neighbors.

3. Bounce back

Truly happy families have the resiliency to face life's challenges and stay strong. "Going through difficult times can actually make you feel more connected as a family," Haltzman says.

4. Breathe

Families do better when they have plenty of laid-back time together. Whether you're going for a walk, playing Rock Band, making cookies, or just hanging out, the best way to build happy family connections is simply to enjoy one another spontaneously. "You can spend your life defining your goals, setting your values, and putting all the right things into place," Haltzman says, "but you also have to take a step back and live a little."